Interview with Sister Nefertari about what African American Men Need from African American Women

Sister Nefertari, in an interview for WPEB Radio (88.1 FM) Radio in Philadelphia, shares her views on what African American men need from African American women. She urges women, for instance, to give African American men space when they ask for it, to allow them to stand up for themselves, their family, and their community when they wish, and to listen more than comment when they are expressing themselves about some of the challenges they are facing.

Sister Nefertari hosts the radio show, “Khildren of Southampton” on WURD Radio (900 AM) in Philadlephia on Sunday nights from 7 pm until 8pm. She is the organizer of The Nat Turner Day Weekend Celebration’s “The Return of Black Manhood” Conference. For more information about this event, please visit the website,, or contact The Khildren of Southampton by phone or email at: 888-817-3235, 215-990-8672, or

Selections from this interview will be aired on WPEB Radio as part of a special broadcast of sBADAwEB aUDIO’s “The Other America Files” dealing with African American Male and Female Relationships. sBADAwEB aUDIO’s “The Other America Files” can be heard every Sunday night from 8pm to 9pm, on WPEB Radio, (88.1 FM).

5 thoughts on “Interview with Sister Nefertari about what African American Men Need from African American Women

  1. I feel that African American women have been mistreated in so many ways by African American men. Most African American men want the Black woman to be very passive, weak-minded; and most African American men want to be in complete control of their (the Black women’s) minds. The reason why I am saying this is because as a Black woman and a very strong Black woman, who has raised children on her own, who has been single for a long time, who has had a business, has taken care of a mother and a brother who was on drugs, went to college at an old age, earned two degrees (and yet have not achieved financial security), I am not sitting on the side of the road feeling sorry for myself, feeling like someone has done me some injustice in life, and I am still waiting for that strong Black man who has confidence in himself and loves himself and who does not have all these insecurities of thinking that the world has done him some injustice. We as African Americans are all going through struggles of our ancestors, and why should it just be that the Black man only has been done some injustice?
    Why do Black men feel that the only way they can feel superior is to marry into another race, that Black women can not manage the Black Man’s money, or his homes, or raise their children, or manage their empire? Black men should step up to the plate, get an education, get a job, start a business, get some of that old money so that they can pass it on to their children and take care of their wives.

  2. The depiction of black women in this interview is skewed. It is as untruthful and damaging as the stereotypes in the media. How many times have I seen a movie or TV episode where the only roles that black women are given to play are as the smart talking best friend, the bitchy drama queen, or the nagging girlfriend that tries to control her boyfriend. I feel this is the same stereotype that this women created in her interview. Of all the black women I know, none of them fit the “caricature” that has been described here in this interview and also seen on TV.
    Where we fail is when we begin to ask the question, “Who has it the worst? Black men or black women?” This is not a useful exercise at all, and just leads us down an even more divisive path. As a community we need to stop talking about what a man needs to be a man and what a woman need to be a woman. Rather, we should be discussing what we all need to become better human beings (man or woman). As people (whether you are a man or woman) we should all be striving to be the best people we can. We should unite to see justice manifest in this world. We should all work towards creating a world that allows everyone to reach their fullest potential. I really don’t think that black men are soo fragile that we can crush their manhood.
    Whenever we are tempted to bash and blame the black woman I think we need to critically look at the motivation behind these criticisms. What’s the goal of these critiques? What’s the ideology behind them? More often than not, I would bet that the blame game that targets black women probably has some sexism embedded in it. Whether you are a man or woman, we are all guilty of perpetuating sexism. This narrative is nothing new. Think back to the civil rights movement and how black women’s struggles were often silenced. Being forced to choose between gender issues and race issues. Being told that “we need to focus on the black man first.” These courageous black women had to take a back seat in the struggle because the overriding emphasis was race. Well many asked a key question, “what about gender?” What about addressing the sexism that exists in our own communities?
    I think we have privileged men long enough in this world. Even beyond issues in the African American community, I think we can all agree that the plight of women worldwide is not an easy one, and it is certainly not a pretty one. If we were truly about liberation we would focus on oppression at all levels (classism, ageism, sexism, homophobia, etc.). Who can deny, if black women are free then certainly children will be free (for who is usually taking care of our children). In a similar vein, if black women are free, then certainly black men will be free. Let’s take off the shackles of the slave master that causes us to divide ourselves. Let’s break free of the doctrine that has ruled the United States (an ideology seeped in white supremacy, racism, male chauvinism, and misogyny). Let’s focus on how to become better human beings. Our community is definitely torn and it is struggling. But it is not the fault of the black women or the black man alone—we are all responsible.

  3. FOR NOAHA: I totally disagree with you because I know too many strong black men and women. The whole thing in a nutshell is that you can not judge one person for others because you could be walking by a person who looks like and acts like the worst person in the world; but he could be the nicest person in the world. This is not a scene from “Pimps Up and Hoes Down.” Every man doesn’t treat his woman like shit.

    You can not judge other people’s actions by just viewing the way they are. Everyone is not like that. I personally would rather have a strong woman than have someone who will say, “Okay, alright. That’s fine. That’s good.” I want some reaction. And I think most men do.

  4. Interesting.

    From the view of this Communist, there are significant portions neeeded to move to another aspect of life and strength under capitalism.

    The views posed in the interiew are interesting, but raise questions regarding the general direction of the workingclass and the African American segment in particular. in regard to the positions posed-

    For example:

    How does the interviewee reconcile the stats and fact that ‘African American males have made more on jobs than African American females?’ and

    ‘Can Black Nationalism, or any nationalism exist outside of a fight against feudalism?’ or

    ‘How far to the right does the philosophy espoused go in defining the existance of African American people?’

    These are important questions which strike to the core of the ideas of the presentor.

    In the past, the responses from others having the analysis of the interviewee have bypassed these very real and obvious flaws in their presentations.

    See you all on:

    In Love and Struggle
    Ken Heard
    Onward to Socialism!!!

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